Permission
by gomenasai-for-everything
Summary: While Joseph is coming to terms with how the relationship between himself and his brothers has changed, Potiphar is desperately thinking of how to tell Joseph of his love for him, and how to make his family approve. For vampygurl402.
1. Chapter 1

A/N Hey guys, hope you enjoy this! I decided to change it so that Asenath and Joseph never married and never had children just for convenience's sake, but otherwise, this takes place with everything in the state it was after the movie ended.

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It was almost strange, how quickly Judah began to treat me as he did Benjamin, as if trying to make up for the twenty years lost between us. In fact, it seemed that every moment he didn't spend with the youngest, he tried to spend with me, trying to draw me into conversation.

"I'm glad people have been… good to you, here. You deserve it," he said one afternoon, quiet, and I offered a faint smile, headdress and other accessories gone on the hot day in favor of nothing but my shendyt. He dressed more heavily, not used to or fond of Egyptian clothing as the others had become. Honestly he seemed less fond of most things in this area than the rest; he always seemed faintly uncomfortable, and his gaze flickered warily from place to place as though someone were hiding in the shadows.

"I only got lucky, truly, to be bought by Potiphar; he's a good man," I told him, my fondness surely being starkly displayed across my face. Judah's mouth twitched, a certain worry filling his face as I realized that he had not yet met Potiphar, not truly, and I chuckled.

"He could be," he mumbled, quiet, "but I'm not certain." I pretended as if I didn't hear, instead leaning back to gaze up at the sky. We were seated on a ledge that looked out over one of the many markets nearby, and though it was wide and not precarious, Judah still put a hand at my back right away to steady me. The sensation still confused me endlessly; I felt, for the first time, as if I had a brother, and my heart clenched both with pain and with pleasure. Beneath us, I saw Benjamin running with a girl he'd met here, young and beautiful, while Simeon chased after them laughingly. Our father, I knew, would yet be inside where it was cooler, perhaps with my other brothers, or perhaps they were off in the city exploring again.

"Benjamin seems to like her very much, doesn't he?" The worry on his face turned to fondness in an instant as he nodded.

"She seems kind enough. Have you met anyone here, brother? The woman who lives here with you, maybe?" I offered a laugh myself, able only to shake my head.

"Asenath? No, no, but she's been very kind to me. Potiphar's former wife was her aunt, you see; she fed me when I was in prison and before that we spoke often. I do care much for her, but we don't love each other." He returned my laughter with a teasing grin, still making certain I didn't fall from the ledge, hand kind and warm behind me, and I felt like sobbing in my joy.

"Well, you do have your mother's face, you know; I'm sure she'd rather someone who looked like father," he said stroking his own chin, and I returned the grin.

"You've certainly got that down, Judah; you've so many age marks upon your face, you could pass as his brother more than mine!" He laughed himself, open and easy as he always had with our other brothers, arms open to me in a way I'd never imagined. It felt like perfection, simply sitting there and teasing, finding family where before I'd seen only a stranger who hated me more than anything. We sat there for a very long time teasing one another, only rarely slipping into more serious conversation, but still I wouldn't have traded those moments for anything.

We were preparing to go back inside when I heard a familiar voice calling for me, however, and though I thought it impossible, my mood brightened further; it seemed that I would have an opportunity for Judah to meet Potiphar after all, and the man himself would certainly be able to prove his kindness to my brother where I could not. I called back to him so he could find me, and Judah looked faintly wary, standing nearer to me than was necessary, hand heavy on my arm, as Potiphar came to stand before us. His gaze flickered for a moment to where Judah's skin touched mine, frowning faintly, until it flashed to my face and he smiled instead, taking my by the wrist and trying to draw me away. Judah's grip tightened. I would never deny how much that confused me.

"What do you want?" Judah asked, voice low and slow, and Potiphar only raised a brow, looking surprised at the sudden insolence because, I knew, he was very rarely faced with such things.

"I had planned to go for a walk through the city; it's very beautiful when evening is falling. Joseph often accompanies me." He spoke calmly, and slowly, as if explaining something to a child, and I knew well enough how much that annoyed Judah.

"We have been here most of the day, so I'm certain he's tired by now. We were just planning to go back inside." I tried to speak, to day that I did not mind a walk, but Judah clenched his hand a bit and kept me quiet.

"Ah. Perhaps another time, then. I expect this is a good opportunity for something else I've been considering, however. Judah, would you mind speaking with me privately for a time?" That, I think, surprised the both of us, though likely me more than Judah; after all, thus far Potiphar had shown relatively little interest in my family. He hadn't been rude, of course, but where others had had questions and wished for stories, he had simply accepted their presence and gone on about his business as if they weren't there. Judah's surprise was tempered by suspicious, though I didn't know what reason he had for being so distrustful of the man when, as I'd said, they hadn't ever really spoken.

"I suppose. Joseph, you ought to go get some rest," he said, turning to me with a soft grin, and I nodded, turning to leave. Potiphar offered me a small smile that, had I seen it anywhere else, I'd have called nervous. I almost wanted to find some place to hide, so that I could hear what it was Potiphar needed to discuss, but I couldn't bring myself to stand the rudeness. In any case, if their conversation was of any importance to me, I would certainly hear of it eventually anyway, so instead I simply wandered back to my home and fell into my bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Potiphar's POV

Joseph's brother Judah was most definitely an… imposing man. He was very tall, a few inches bigger than I was, and broad with the work he'd done in the fields where he and Joseph had been born. I was nervous around him, more nervous than I was around most, beyond Joseph himself, and the fact that he so obviously disliked me certainly didn't help. Distrust was written in every line of his body, every angle speaking of his conflicting desires to fight me and to run to his brother.

It certainly made the already sensitive subject I wished to speak with him about no simpler to bring up. I imagine the worst part of him was the sheer _mystery_ , though. I did not think that Joseph and his brothers had parted on good terms, and yet this man seemed desperate to be near him, to protect him from everything, just as he was with the youngest brother, Benjamin. I didn't know exactly why I fell under the number of people he felt couldn't be trusted, but then I expected that that was likely where everyone started with him. I'd have to earn my way into his good graces, that much was obvious.

"What do you wish of me?" he asked, voice lower than Joseph's and rather a lot harsher, his arms crossing firmly over his chest.

"I wanted only to talk," I said, trying to keep my voice calm and level, as if my heart weren't pounding away in my chest. I almost couldn't imagine this conversation going well, truly.

"Talk, then. I haven't got days to spend here staring at you; I need to find Benjamin and make certain that he gets back safely." There was a harried quality to his voice at that, as though trusting his other brothers, or even Benjamin himself, to get back on their own was simply impossible.

"This part of Egypt is very safe; I am sure that nothing will happen to him." Judah frowned, deep and heavy, his brow furrowing. He shifted his stance as well, a certain danger flashing in his eyes to hide an old, aching sadness.

"Often one is betrayed when he feels himself the safest. I am the eldest brother; I have to make certain that he stays safe, both for his sake and for my father's. Now tell me what you wish to discuss with me." I wanted to press further, to see what, exactly, he meant by that, perhaps to discover why Joseph had not been happy to see them right away, but I could see in his face that he would not reveal that. I might've mistaken him for a statue, he stood so stiffly, his gaze shadowed and heavy.

"I wished to speak about Joseph," I said, desperately trying to ready myself for what I actually wished to say, seeking the proper words for it so that, perhaps, he would actually listen rather than simply shoving me away and leaving without hearing what I truly wished to say.

"What about him?" he asked, the distrust bleeding more deeply into his voice. He seemed almost as if he thought that I planned to snatch the man and run away to some faraway place, to deprive him of his brother yet again when he'd only just found him again. I cleared my throat, fixing my eyes on his face in the hopes that I could convince him that I was being honest about what I said next.

"I… care very deeply for him," I began, "More deeply than I have ever cared for any. As I do not wish to disturb your father's rest in his elder years, I thought to ask you for your permission to ask him for his hand. I have wanted to do this for some time, but as he has had no blood family here with him, I have refrained." The shock on his face was perhaps the most blatant I have ever seen, lips parted and arms dropping from their place across his chest to sag at his sides. He took a half step back, staring at me as though he'd never seen me before and couldn't possibly understand the words I said or why I said them. I frowned; I had not thought that this would go well, but this was far beyond what I'd imagined. At least if he'd taken a swing at me I would've had a clearer idea as to his actual thoughts.

"You want to _what_?" he finally managed, shaking his head. "I honestly cannot believe you have asked me this. Of course the answer is no." I narrowed my own eyes, my lips pressing together thinly, hands clenching slightly at my sides.

"Will you at least tell me why?" He actually laughed, sharp and angry, eyes like flint burrowing into my skin.

"Is it not obvious? I have no reason to trust you with him. Joseph is kind, and very forgiving. He told me what you did to him, that you threw him in prison because you did not trust his word and left him there even after discovering that he spoke truth because you could not admit that you were wrong. I refuse to assume that your feelings now are not so fickle, that you will not hurt him again simply because you are a fool." He wanted proof, then, proof that I would treat him well, that my love was true. I nodded, inclining my head in acknowledgement.

"And if I show you that my love for him is real? Will you reconsider?" The shock at that was a bit softer, though not by much.

"Perhaps. I have not treated him well either, you know. It is my greatest shame; I do not know how he has managed to forgive me because I do not deserve it either, but I've made a vow that I will protect him now with all I have, though it won't make up for what I've done. If you want to try and prove worthy, be my guest. He deserves happiness; maybe you can give that to him."

Again my curiosity over his past with Joseph was peaked, but still I knew that he would tell me nothing that he did not already wish to say; his minor admission had displayed that quite clearly. Still, I had gotten more from him than I'd actually expected, though it wasn't an agreement. All I had to do was show him how much I loved Joseph, how important he'd become to me, how much I regretted what I'd done. If only I could manage that, then… then, perhaps, I could at last wed him and offer him the happiness I knew he deserved.


End file.
